Guinea's Pig point of view on a Canuck experiment

1st entry

Dear readers, (maybe the use of the plural form might be hoping for too much, but hey, hope is the last to die, right?!)

This will be the diary of the subject of yet another vicious Canuck experiment by no other than the infamous [hirr]Leto himself.... wich makes me the "Guinea Pig".... Time to see if Douglas Adams was right about whos in charge of these experiments, the scientist or the rat.

For those who (like at least me and The Coil did) wonder what kind of a nick "[hirr]Leto" is and how it sounds, here's the answer by the man himself:
hirr = "higher"
Leto = Lay tow
...yes, theres strange people out there.... but it is said that he aint a bad CM player, so i must be carefull.

Lets look at the battlefiled:
Aug 1943 QB meeting engagement in CMAK... I will be restricted to Italian, unrestricted, and 3000 points, 35+ turns rural, medium terrain, gentle slope, medium damage.

At first sight, the least experienced players, like myself, might think "wow, playing Italians, what an idiot!". But on closer look it aint that bad, cos even thou they suck a bit on the armor side (the best semovent has good armor/gun but aint cheap), their infantry might be the best for a rural enviroment because they have SMGSMG - Submachine Gun [ENG]

squads with 340 firepower at 40 meters and 54 ammo!! Yes my dear reader, 54 ammo!! Plus a evil ATRATR - Anti-Tank Rifle [ENG]

team with a 20 mm cannon.... a cannon with legs!

So i thought to myself "Damn, i just might loose this... bloody hell, what a shame it will be!", so as a experient looser that i am, i immediatly came up with a genius plan that will in the worst case avoid the public shame.... I will play with Canucks.... simply genius.... If i loose its cos the canadian troops suck (and they do, and beeing Leto a canadian himself, if he wins he will attack his own national pride. Were they really in the war?!), if i win, well, its a case of master play against overwhelming odds...... superb plan, i sometimes amaze myself!

Open the file, select Canadians.... what a Fuc*!! This is it?! Not even planes?! Just some wannabe infantry and some second hand equipment loaned by the brits?!....... Oh well, at least i didnt had the idea of playing with the French!.... I can forget about fighting those Italian SMG's with the canuck inf, and i can forget getting the only battalion available, it comes full of useless carriers..... guess i will have to change a bit from my usual, wich is infantry based with some support.... it just wont work with these Canadians.... But fear not, theres always more than one way to skin a cat (or a moose in this case):

• 1x Engineers Field Company
• 1x Rifle Company
• 4x ReconRecon - Reconnaissance [ENG]
  
  Assault Platoon (you can only get these as platoons)
• 2x Sharpshooters
• 4x Vickers MGMG - Maschinengewehr [GER]
  
  MG - Machinegun [ENG]
  
  
• 2x 3in Mortar
• 1x Bren LMGLMG - Light Machinegun [ENG]
  
  
• 1x 3in Art. Spotter (radio)

(included on the 2 companies theres 7 PIATPIAT - Projector, Infantry, Anti Tank [ENG]

, 3 2in mortars and 1 bren LMG)

• 4x Sherman V
• 4x Priest
• 2x White Scout Car
• 2x Stuart Recce (late)

The sharpshooters are veterans and all others are regulars.

Now what i need is a map with plenty of open spaces where i can try to get those SMG's. Trying that inside a forest will be something close to suicide. With this setup i will have to rely on the Shermans to control the enemy armor and the Priests to rain some lead into the Italian folks.

2nd entry

First hours of the day, the troops have arrived today.... Damn its raining!! Bastard Luck, how often does it rain in the desert anyway?! Ok , time to go see my freshly arrived troops...

What is this?! I ask for Vet and reg troops and i get a ton of greens?! This guys have the same lost look as a moose when looking at the end of a rifle and not quite understanding but with that distinct feeling that something is about to go very wrong for them...

Morale is a bit low but it rises fast when i ask for each to give 5 cigars so we can get some local hookers, its amazing the change on their looks, its as if they had never seen a girl before.... wait till they know that the hookers aint for them but to bribe some yankees to take some aerial photos of the objectives.... yes thats right, the reader now remembers that the Canucks have no planes....

With promises of hookers the yankees wasted no time on getting the job done. By the time i got the intelligence pictures i think some of the Canuck troops were starting to wonder where in the hell were the girls... I think i will have tell them they somehow missunderstood the purpose of the girls during the briefing...

This is it? I am gonna risk my bloody life for some trees in the middle of the desert?! Oh well, who said a soldier's life was easy.

After some hours of carefull planing i came up with a perfect plan! Its time for the briefing, so i interrupt my troops on their herculean work of trying to remove the infinite "his royal majesty bla bla bla" sentences from this loaned equipment.... after all we dont wanna be confused with brits, we have our pride!

The silence that follows my explanation about the cost of the aerial photos tells me the morale droped significantly.... well, its war, we all must make sacrifices i tell them.

In the following hour i outline to the troops my carefull designed plan that will surely go in history as one of the most brilliant ones of this war. When i finish i look the troops in the eyes and ask if they have any doubts.... after several minutes of profund silence one of the few veterans say "huh?!" ... i am screwed!

The next two hours see me outlining the same plan but in a much slower way.... "Is it clear?" .... *silence* ..... till another Vet says "errr..." Ok, i am royaly screwed!! I give up and point in the general direction of the objectives and say "We move that way!" and i finally caught glimpses of understanding among my troops.... therefore here's our plan B:

We will move in straight line towards the flags.... like the enemy would say "Que sera, sera!"